How to Stop Anger Outbursts? A Simple Brief Guide to Anger Management

1. Find a solution to the actual problem which is making you angry

Will your anger outbursts change the situation? Your anger is a negative internal feeling. How you express it externally is up to you. Express it in a way that it will not cause more harm. It’s likely that anger is not the main problem. The main problem is the situation that you are angry with. If that situation is within your power to change it to go according to your way, then change it, rather than being angry and accomplishing nothing.

Learn more: Understanding Anger

It’s likely that anger is not the main problem. The main problem is the situation that you are angry with. If that situation is within your power to change it to go according to your way, then change it, rather than being angry and accomplishing nothing.

2.React how you would want someone who is angry at you to react

Human interactions are often a cycle. What you do to others can be easily done to you as well. So, consider this – have you ever made someone angry? If yes, how did they react and did you like how they reacted towards you, or would you have preferred different treatment? Before you lash out in anger, listen to the other person, be patient before acting out in anger, then react in a way that you would like someone who is angry with you to react.

React in a way that you would like someone who is angry with you to react.

3. Walk away and calm down first before doing anything

Most human emotions are temporary if not held on to. Anger is no exception. You will not feel it forever as long as you do not hold on to it and focus on it.  When in great anger that’s bordering to rage, walk away from the situation. Do not allow people to add firewood to your fire by staying there and listening to what they are saying. Not releasing your anger immediately can help you to reduce the intensity of that emotion. You do not have to respond immediately. Don’t let your emotions to control you, or sooner than you think you will be out of control. Out of control never looks good.

See: Delayed Gratification Can Save Your Life

4.Express your anger in a constructive way rather than in a destructive way

Anger is an unsettling feeling, and the first normal reaction is to get rid of it, but you can’t get rid of it by concealing it inside of you. Violence is not a solution to anger or to the problem that is causing your anger. Becoming aggressive may appear to be an easy way out of anger but sometimes there are dire consequences. Check your tongue and check your body. Be in control of your emotions. Some people release their anger through talking to the person who angers them, talking to someone else, writing their thoughts, physical activity,  joining a movement and other safe ways to release the anger. What is your method? Let angry outbursts not be one of them.

Violence is not a solution to anger or to the problem that is causing your anger.

5. Change your mindset and the thoughts that fuel your anger

Anger is an internal feeling and trying to manage it by physical ways only will not be effective. You have to manage your anger from within, before letting it out. Therefore, think before reacting out of anger. How justified is your anger? What exactly are you angry about? Is the person that you are directing the anger to the right person or are you projecting your anger onto an innocent person? Think deeply, to make sure that your anger is not misdirected. Your anger is yours. Anger is a product of your thoughts. You have the ability to choose what you allow to annoy you by changing your thoughts or allowing yourself to think about the problem with a different perspective.

Look up: 10 Awesome Quotes About the Danger of Anger

You have the ability to choose what you allow to annoy you by changing your thoughts

6. Cut close association with angry people

The company you keep is crucial. In the Bible, the book of 1Corinthians 15:33 states that bad associations spoil useful habits. You can apply this to anger outbursts. When you spend time with people who don’t seem to have peaceful hearts, people who are always angry and react in unhealthy ways to their anger, you will find it difficult to be different. Associate with mature people who have learned how to deal with their anger. You could join a group of people who have anger towards a common thing and use that energy to advocate for something useful. Keep the company of peaceful people.

7. Accept your anger

Be authentic about your anger when you experience it. The self-acceptance of your anger is crucial in identifying the real reason behind it. Hence, finding a solution becomes easier. The reason why you feel like you have to let out your anger it is a negative emotion.  The more you hide that anger from yourself, the more the resentment you will hold subconsciously, the greater the chance of misdirecting your anger and reacting with anger outbursts.

You might react to small things with unmatched anger because of harboring of anger. No one likes negative emotions, but when they occur recognize them and accept that you own them. Blaming others for your anger is irrational. You can blame them for your misfortune in situations where it’s obvious that they were involved. But, your reaction is entirely in your own hands.

Acceptance of your anger is crucial in identifying the real reason behind it…

8. Communicate truthfully and respectfully

When other people lie to you or disrespect you, you might be angry at them. However, you cannot control other people. You can only control yourself. When you have been wronged in a way and it makes you angry, gently try to communicate with the other party and let them know that you are hurt. Anger demands to be heard and to be felt.  Raising your voice or becoming aggressive gives you an illusion of being powerful. However, that usually leads to even more anger because you cannot find an amicable solution amid the noise. Be respectful by dealing with other people with a kind voice. Whisper if you must. Communicate about the real reason behind your anger e.g being hurt, rather than communicating about how angry you are. You might rightfully have a reason to consider someone as the cause of your pain, but your anger is your own responsibility.

Communicate about the real reason behind your anger

9. Cope with your life’s stressors

Often, anger outbursts occur due to other stresses in life. You can become so stressed that you face life with bitterness, resentment, and irritability. When you go through stressful circumstances in life and you brush them under the rug, you might become anxious and irritable. Underlying issues in your life could be causing your anger problems. Perhaps you went through a traumatic experience and felt powerless, so anger becomes your avenue for feeling some power. When you are angry at the world, angry at yourself, angry at life, angry at God, or angry at people who you cannot confront you might direct your anger outbursts to people who you consider weaker and easier to face. Always deal with stressful circumstances in life as they come to lower your chances of future irritability.

Always deal with stressful circumstances in life as they come to lower your chances of future irritability.

10. Act in contrast to how you feel

What do you expect to achieve after an angry outburst? Most humans expect relief from that negative emotion. The problem is that anger outbursts taint your character. Try acting in contrast to what you feel like doing. For instance, when you want to burst out in anger, try smiling instead or read some happiness quotes. When you are so angry at your friend, hug them instead of slapping them. These are just examples. Behaving in contrast to anger might just help you to regain control of your behavior.

Anger outbursts show how weak you are. Anger outbursts can make you a difficult person to deal with and lead to failed relationships in your life. Therefore, practice control. It’s easier to get violent, abusive, or verbally aggressive when in a state of anger than to remain in a state of calm. Self-control is not easy to master or practice. If you set your mind to it, you will make it. Anger is just one of the emotions that you have to experience to feel alive and to make life more interesting. How you deal with it will affect the quality of your life either negatively or positively. Choose wisely.

Life is for living. Keep living. Don’t give up.

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