What is Emotional Intelligence?
Your social, professional, and personal success depends on your level of emotional intelligence. Being emotionally intelligent is the ability to perceive your own emotions and that of others, to understand these emotions, to use them constructively and to manage them properly. The result of elevated emotional intelligence is an improved quality of life depicted by mental strength, a sense of optimism, confidence, fulfilling relationships, a great career life, and good problem-solving skills.
Lack of emotional intelligence can lead to destructive choices, poor behavioural patterns and poor self-management of emotions due to the inability to recognize emotions and their significance. Strive to control your emotions or else they will cloud your judgement.
Therefore, it’s important to be smart with your emotions. Always review your emotional intelligence and practice using it to prevent dormancy.
Be smart with your emotions.
The Mark of an Emotionally Intelligent Person
The mark of an emotionally intelligent person is visible through character and behaviour especially when experiencing powerful emotions. It’s comforting to know that any normal human being can develop the capability of emotional intelligence. And like other forms of intelligence, there are significant individual differences. Emotional intelligence comes easy for some, but others have to work harder to attain it.
In brief, the mark of an emotionally intelligent person involves a collection of interconnected personality traits and skills: self-discipline, self-control, peacefulness, self-awareness, empathy, adaptability, trustworthiness, assertiveness, persistence, and zeal.
In simple terms, self-discipline is the ability to force yourself to do what matters and to stay away from useless distractions. With self-discipline, you remain focused on building your tomorrow. You hold yourself responsible for your own behaviour and thoughts. Self-discipline is your ability to continue pursuing your long-term goals amid obstacles and despite the pressure to seek immediate gratification or give up.
Self-discipline is your ability to continue pursuing your long-term goals amid obstacles and despite the pressure to seek immediate gratification or give up.
The advantage of self-discipline is that you do not need to get external pressure to accomplish wholesome actions. You have self-motivation when undertaking various tasks in your life. As a result, whenever you experience emotions, you either align them with your goals or you keep them in check so that they do not interfere with your life in a negative way. For these above-mentioned reasons, self-discipline is a mark of emotional intelligence.
In my view, self-discipline is the greatest mark of emotional intelligence since all other factors that have been investigated by researchers ultimately point back to self-discipline.
Emotions can be so strong that they demand more than to be felt; they can demand instant gratification and impulsive actions. Impulsiveness is often the cause of harmful behaviour toward the self and others. Emotional intelligence enables you to recognize the emotion, its impact if followed through with the desired action and consequently proper self-management. Therefore, emotional intelligence calls for self-control and patience.
The emotionally intelligent person is peaceful, understanding their own emotions and those of other people. When you understand other people’s feelings, you will understand how their emotions motivate their actions and words. You will find it easy to forgive others and move on. Emotional intelligence makes it is easier to maintain peace with others and also your own inner peace. You are able to manage your own emotions in a way that will not enhance negative emotions in yourself and other people.
Self-awareness is a key factor in emotional intelligence. Be conscious of your own emotions and that of the people around you because you recognize that they are similar to yours. Be authentic in your personal analysis of your feelings and how you regard yourself. You might hide what you feel/are to the world, but you don’t lie to yourself about what you truly feel/are.
Recognize which emotions amplify your strengths and which amplify your weaknesses, then focus on then act accordingly. Understand which kind of situations will provoke specific emotions in you. Therefore, make rational decisions because of your ability to perceive current or future emotions.
Emotionally intelligent people are empathetic. As a result, they have developed good communication skills and are good listeners. They can easily put themselves in another person’s shoe when feelings are involved. For this reason, emotionally intelligent people attract friends and are able to maintain long-term social relationships. They recognize their own emotions in other people. They notice how they deal with them and the impact it has on them.
Adaptability is being open to new ideas, patterns of thought or behavior when the circumstances around you require change. Emotional intelligence breeds adaptability. That is, the ability to embrace change when necessary and when possible. In the presence of changes, rather than being rigid on previously held feelings that no longer serve the situation, the emotionally intelligent person realigns appropriately.
Also see: Adapting and Embracing Change
Anyone who can analyze personal emotions and those of other people properly can be trusted. The level of people’s trust in you will depend on various individual reasons, but the key elements of loyalty and reliability have to be part of your character. And the best thing about being emotionally intelligent is that you can trust yourself.
Emotionally intelligent people know how to set and maintain boundaries in their lives. On the same note, they respect other people’s boundaries as well. To be assertive is to refuse something and stick to your decision, or to accept something and stick to your decision. Therefore, when you have a reason to say “no” to something you are not easily shaken from your decision. And in the event that you change your mind, you have a solid reason to do so which is not due to peer-pressure or irrational fear. Assertion helps you to maintain proper balance in your work, relationships and life in general.
Emotional intelligence enables you to be persistent in pursuing your life goals. Your determination to live or achieve your goals is evident to all around you. You do not give up or quit easily when useful results are involved. You seek till you find. EI helps you to realize that committing to your goals is important. In the process, doing so in moderation so that you do not overstep your own boundaries or other people’s boundaries.
Since the emotionally intelligent are persistent, self-disciplined, self-aware and adaptable; they are diligent in whatever they do. They are goal-oriented and purpose-driven and this shows in their zeal for life and activities involved in living.
These are the major qualities of an emotionally intelligent person because they predict the presence of success and joy in an individual’s life. Cultivate these qualities into your character and consequently manage and use your emotions effectively.
Your emotions will not control you. You will control them. Thus, your life will rarely run out of control.
Without emotional intelligence, it is difficult to find the meaning of your life. Work at improving your emotional intelligence by infiltrating these qualities into your life.
If you haven’t started yet, start now. Start by checking and improving your self-discipline. Self-discipline is the superior mark of intelligence because it will enable you to remain on track when working on the rest of the EI traits.
Be smart with your emotions. Life is for living. Keep living. Don’t give up.